Depression, suicide, and hallucinations…

“You’d have to dig pretty deep, kiddo, before you can find anything real. We live in a kingdom of bullshit. A kingdom you’ve lived in for far too long; so don’t tell me about not being real. I’m no less real than the fucking beef patty in your Big Mac. As far as you’re concerned, Elliot, I am very real.” – Mr. Robot
Brings to mind the axiom “If you build it, they will come”. A very poignant commentary on the life of a schizophrenic. If you believe, it’s as real as you assume it is. If you don’t believe it, it’s not real. Who’s reality is the correct one? Are some people more attune to certain “wave-lengths” as science suggests or “out of their head”?
Every experience is ‘real’, to a certain degree. Night Terrors and the awful experiences are real to our brains, bodies, and memory. Perception drives reality. To those that suffer, these trespasses upon our expected dream-drives are legitimate obstructions.
If an “average” person has a nightmare that they died, they wake up and are freaked out for a bit. If a sufferer of night terrors has the same dream, it’s likely going to be on more than one occasion and in plenty of horrific ways. We wake up and think, “Am I dead?” Pretty much every time.
I was recently asked why writers and poets have a perceived history of suicide. Here is my response:
think that a lot of writers have gone through experiences that were traumatic or difficult to live with. In my case, I have lived with night terrors my entire life and that is extremely depressing. Knowing that it will likely never just go away has caused me to question whether or not it’s a life I really want to live. Night terrors have only recently received attention and research. It could be very possible that a lot of writers experienced them or similar symptoms that drove their writing and their eventual suicide.

About lacysereduk

Writer, reader, video game lover, and Batman.
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