The Beholder

mirrorI recently moved to this neighborhood and I’ve been single for a while now. Don’t get me wrong; I love being single. However, there’s that sort of tingle, that electricity that comes with the chase. I’ve always chased the wrong shadow, it seems. So, here I am. In a new place, a new part of the city, a new life, and a not-so-new me. I’m doing some laundry and trying to wash my hands but wanted to tell this story while it’s still fresh in my memory.

I work in a sort of technical field. Basically, I fix expensive shit for people that didn’t read the manual or didn’t learn not to try and print porn on company printers that require a badge scan to tally your print requests. They’re all idiots and the dating pool at work is almost non-existent. Almost. I’m not new to this job but I’m new to this company and I’ve been scoping out the potential. I do the usual: see who wants to take a break at the same time and visit the smoker’s patio, see who is wearing a ring but doesn’t mind flirting in line at the cafeteria. You know… See who brings their kids in for the inevitable holiday round up for the top-bosses but still gives me the eye as they pass my cubicle, wife and kids in tow. I watch their heads turn as I pass the reflective glass they’re facing, watch their faces in the elevator mirrors as I board, hear their conversations halt as I remove my over-sized coat.

There are a few specimens that I’ve had my eye on but one in particular has struck my fancy. We’ll call him Matthew. He has golden hair and eyes so blue that they would make Adonis jealous. I’ve seen them turn grey and they’re not as wonderful then, but, when they’re blue, it’s like a cloudless sky in late spring. Matthew does the same job that I do. He’s intelligent but not as smart as I am. He doesn’t see a lot coming. He’s sweet, kind, and generally keeps to himself.

…This stain is setting…

I found out that he doesn’t live too far from me. How did I learn this? Well, as luck would have it, in the early days of starting this job, I passed a house on my way to work and a shirtless man caught my eye. He was skinny, muscular, and just sitting on his front porch drinking coffee. I caught a few extra eyefuls in my rear-view and recognized him. I was passing his house every day on the way to work. What good fortune!

Well, Matthew turned out to be the kind that would take his smoke breaks when I took mine. Was it because our schedules were similar or was it planned? I still don’t know but that’s irrelevant now. He was there, I was there, conversation needed to be had. His golden hair rustled in the breeze; beckoning me to at least smile in his general direction. I had to have this blue-eyed morsel. One way or another.

Finally, I spoke first. I told him how much he reminded me of the main character from True Romance. I was, of course, quick to explain that this is no ordinary Romance film and that it is mostly an action film done by Tarantino. He knew the movie. Oh sensation of tingles that brought. From that moment, I intended to have this man. He spoke about his interest in the martial arts and I pretended not to be bored by his outpouring of love for Bruce Lee. This man was still a boy at heart but I intended to enjoy the man. And enjoy I did.

…I need to find some better soap…

Sweet, quiet, and muscles in all the right places. I’d watch those blue eyes blaze like a star dying in spectacular glory when he had me pressed against a mirror. That sparkle that flickered when he passed my cubicle at work. The little wink. Even the dull, tired, frosty blue that he gave to the less intelligent co-workers was something to behold when I held his visage in my compact mirror. He was all encompassing sex appeal without even knowing it.

He wanted to discuss our relationship. To “take it to a different level”. I wasn’t ready for that and nor am I now. I like my freedom. I like being single. I love stringless way of life where I can take what I want and not have to explain things later. I don’t like to lose and I don’t give up what I’ve claimed easily. I claimed Matthew and I harnessed those gems that no one else could. I couldn’t give him up. I wouldn’t give him up. I couldn’t stand the thought of that flickering, blue light shining on anyone else the way they shone on me. I had to make a choice. Was I willing to settle down or was I going to keep being me? Well, as I said, new place, new part of the city, new life, and a not-so-new me.

His eyes were a beautiful blue. An amazing blue. A right-of-passage-into-an-ethereal blue. Until they went grey. But, his eyes will only ever look at me, now.

… I wonder how late the dry cleaners are open….

If you enjoy my writing, please feel free to check out Discernment. The story of a woman that has lived with night terrors her entire life and is forced to try and make the call between mental illness or supernatural presence.

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About lacysereduk

Writer, reader, video game lover, and Batman.
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